We Can’t Wait for President Trump

the-lion-guard-logoHere it is, folks, the beginning of the end of our democratic experiment. Trump’s militia is forming. In real time. It’s so new the ‘About’ page is still WordPress boilerplate: http://lionsoftrump.net/

It is happening here. We’re witnessing a pivotal moment in history that hasn’t been matched for 90 years.

Let’s say you’re a Trump voter. Let’s say you’re joining the Lion Guard. I’m aligning myself right here, right now, as your mortal enemy. No, you don’t have points to make, and no, we aren’t even going to try to convince each other. The line is drawn. From now on, you’re going to win, and I’m going to lose.


You have Trump as your savior. He’s certainly not mine, but that’s okay with you. He’s only going to wreck things for me, my life, and that of my family. Not yours.

And I know you love that. After all, I’m a latte-sipping liberal. I’ve known joblessness and poverty, and I’ve needed the support of others through entitlement programs. I’ve made use of unemployment benefits, health insurance programs, Sallie Mae, SNAP, FHA, SBA, and the public school system. My financial situation teeters one wrong move from disaster, like that careening truck on the road sign.

I doubt I’ll ever feel secure in my future as it is, never mind with President Trump in charge.

But that’s cool with you, right? Trump wants that to continue. He’ll make life in America tough for many people, especially those in need of some help. If you’re sick, he’ll kick you to the curb. Unemployed? Poor? Get a job, loser. No more handouts. Attacks against blacks and anyone else who doesn’t look exactly like Trump’s supporters are already rising because of his voice. Women? Gays? Transgender people? Latinos? Muslims? Forget about it. 

His mission isn’t just to become President. It’s to become President so he can drive the national dialogue, along with policy, to marginalize anyone who’s ever been politically correct for even a minute. And his supporters, as well as members of his chosen political party, will cheer him along. And maybe even kick some ass.

Or, will they?

You might be a Trump supporter, or just a conservative willing to hitch a ride. After all, you’re safe. He’s not going to ruin the country for you. The country you love. The country you ‘want back’. No, he’s going to give it back to you. Cleansed of people like me. No poverty, no sickness, no pansy liberals, no lattes or Priuses. No common core. No anti-bullying campaigns. No craft beer. No organic or gluten-free foods. No yoga. No pilates. No vaccinations. No community organizers. No high speed trains. No scientists. No abortions. No wind farms. No holiday trees. No anti-war movements. Nobody to gripe about school shootings. And certainly none of this paternity-leave bullshit.

Your country. Back. Whiter and shinier than ever.

Is that really how it works?

Who will fight his wars? Without us around, that will fall to your children, won’t it? And not everybody can be the intrepid entrepreneurs out to beat the world. Someone has to be the customer. Someone has to work in their factories. Someone has to build your seawalls higher (whether you believe that or not). And what are you going to eat? Of course a hero like you doesn’t eat vegetables, but doesn’t someone have to slaughter those cows? Who’s going to drive the trucks to get stuff to market and work the checkouts? You? Are you going to earn your millions doing that?

And that heart bypass you’ll need, who’s going to do it? Dr. Ben Carson? If he’s not been kicked out, he’ll probably be pretty busy.

Or maybe we’ll all still be here, just poorer, sicker, and more in need of assistance programs than ever. More people in your way at the grocery store. More homeless at your feet while you walk to work. More tent cities and anti-war protests. More people in line for medicine. More addiction. More pandemics. More rolling blackouts.

Maybe he’ll never get around to wrecking things for you. Maybe you’re in the clear. If someone’s going to be on the winning team financially, somebody has to be the sucker. It’ll be me before it has to be you, right? Or maybe not.

So when you fill in that bubble for Trump, and he takes the oath and goes into overdrive destroying me and all enemies of your chosen social order, do you really think he’ll stop before he gets to you? Are you sure you’ll be safe? Or maybe there’s a little doubt there.

We can’t wait for President Trump to find out.