Facebook is great for sharing embarrassing pictures of friends, jokes that aren’t all that funny, memes that quickly run their course, and links to stupid articles like this one. But there are many types of status updates and links that you should never, ever post. I’ll go through some of them here (and maybe you can think of others):
The Death Threat
The worst thing to find in your news feed on a Monday (besides all those OMG It’s Monday again! posts) is a note from a friend promising to kill you. It’s kind of a reverse happy-birthday post, where instead of somebody copying and pasting a false platitude to recognize your special day, they threaten to ensure you never see another one.
Whether or not you want to warn someone about their impending death at your hands, or fill them in on the gory details, there really are better ways to get someone’s attention. You could use the “Poke” feature, for instance; Facebook created it to avoid people like you constantly posting angry screeds declaring your vicious hatred and your plans to act on it. Plus, it can keep you out of jail.
Instead of sending death threats, find a nice kitten photo to share. It might help you calm down a bit.